Special Day – 10/29/2008

We had been talking about doing this thing since the California Supreme Court released it’s decision. Eunice (Dave’s Mom) called us the next the day and said when are you guys going to get married. Rosalie, Colleen and Steve at work asked the same thing. We hadn’t really given it more than a few minutes thought. When we got back from Paris this year Marshall talked about how he and Douglas had gotten hitched while we were away. And yet neither one of us was jumping to get on this band wagon. We talked about getting a license and getting rings but we didn’t move on it. In all actuality we were hoping that Prop. 8 here in California would not pass and we would be able to get married when Eunice was here in February and closer to the day we use as our anniversary date – Feb 2. Which is ground hog day of course and is also the day that David and I first met.

Then as the weeks were passing by we decided some time late in August that we were going to do this thing. I mean after 24 years together it wouldn’t hurt us to get together with the people we enjoy being around and speak some vows. We got the license in Indio and then about 3 weeks later we drove into Los Angeles and bought these two really great looking wedding bands at the Beverly Center store TitanFactory. They carry the TeNo brand of rings – which we both have liked for sometime. It’s about time we both said after we found the rings we both liked. Simple titanium with a gold band in the center.

Next it was the ceremony. Where were we going to do this thing. Col and Harry had suggested their house at one point, Rosalie the parking lot behind the business, our backyard – but the flowers from the spring were all gone and the yard was looking pretty dry at this time – so we both thought about how much we liked the area called La Casa at the La Quinta Resort. David checked with the hotel if it would be alright to have the wedding in the yard and then have a simple party in the courtyard. My thought was about 10 people at the most. Well it turned out to be about 30.

The invitations were handed out and everybody said they would come. We got dressed up in suits even though it still was hot even in the late afternoon. The staff at the hotel really put together a really special looking display and i have to admit that I was getting nervous, anxious to say the least.

Photos privided by Chris Martin and Andi Dobi. Thanks so much for taking such great shots.

We had decided to say our own vows and provide our own music – ala iPod and HiFi BoomBox.

I’ve got to say that it got pretty emotional. That was shocking, but the friends that showed up for the ceremony made it feel very tight and alive, and all day i had been tinkering with the words i wanted to say, and I was anxious to hear what David had decided to say. Coming down the stairs from the La Casa onto that lawn with all of these people who have become part of our family made us both feel full. Cathy’s handling of the ceremony was perfect – and I guess I struck a cord with my words – cuz I felt like tearing up and I could see it in David’s eyes, that he knew I meant what I said, and his words to me struck me deep – almost as deep as the first time we looked into each other’s eyes. I read a few poems and said alot of things – I thought i went on a bit long, but it felt good.

Then we were saying our “I Do’s” and then Cathy said you may kiss now and we had talked about this – neither one of us is very physical in public so we didn’t want to make a big deal of the kiss and we didn’t – Chris (by the way he took most of these great photos) said it had to be the shortest kiss he had ever seen, but it was just perfect for us. And then we got to take one of our special photos ourselves – David had his camera with him and held it up and took a picture of the two of us with the whole gathering behind us. Then it was over.

I guess that the Nov. 4th thing is supposed to make us sad and angry. We did go down to the Francis Stevens park for one rally against the vote, listened to the Keith Oberman video they played – watched the media whores sopping up the crazy antics of the crazy woman with the cross – one of her, hundreds of people gathered – as usual the media makes no sense – then we walked down through Village Fest and most of the onlookers cheered and clapped – and then it was over. But you know what – no matter what happens with the California Supreme Court – no matter what the majority voted (52?61 – the tide is turning) they will never be able to remove from our hearts, from our memory, from the gathering that we experienced with those people that attended – the one true thing that counted – that before our friends, new and old we declared ourselves and we joined in their presence. That is something that none can break.

The music set list is here:

1. I’m Glad There Is You – (All My Tomorrows) Grover Washington Jr.
2. If Not For You – (All Things Must Pass (Disc One)) George Harrison
3. Wild Honey – (All That You Can’t Leave Behind) U2
4. Ever Fallen In Love – (Bande A’ Part) Nouvelle Vague
5. Hier Encore – (20 Chansons D’or) Charles Aznavour
6. Complainte de la Butte – (Moulin Rouge) Rufus Wainwright
7. One Man Guy – (Rufus Wainright Poses) Rufus Wainwright
8. Amarcord – (Amarcord) Nino Rota
9. Make Someone Happy – (Sleepless In Seattle) Jimmy Durante
10. I’m Having a Good Time – (Amtrak Blues) Alberta Hunter
11. Because the Night – (Tunes Originals – Patti Smith) Patti Smith
12. Old Friends – (The Best of Simon & Garfunkel) Simon & Garfunkel
13. Angels – (The Ego Has Landed) Robbie Williams
14. Cactus – (Heathen) David Bowie
15. A Case Of You – (Live In Paris) Diana Krall
16. Distant Dreamer – (Rockferry) Duffy
17. Boys Don’t Cry – (Staring At The Sea: The Singles) The Cure
18. I Don’t Know What It Is – (Want One) Rufus Wainwright
19. Another World – (Another World – EP) Antony & The Johnsons
20. The Dull Flame of Desire – (Volta) Björk
21. As Time Goes By – (Sleepless In Seattle) Jimmy Durante
22. La vie en rose – (J’ Ai Deux Amours) Dee Dee Bridgewater
23. Here Comes The Rain Again – (Greatest Hits) Eurythmics
24. Watching The Wheels – (Double Fantasy) John Lennon & Yoko Ono
25. Blue – (Live @ The Fillmore [Disc 1]) Lucinda Williams
26. Speed of Light – (Come to Where I’m From) Joseph Arthur
27. It’s Oh So Quiet – (Post) Bjork
28. Doctor! Doctor! – (Into The Gap) The Thompson Twins
29. Je Suis – (Un Jour D’Eté) Amel Bent
30. Rent – (Actually) Pet Shop Boys
31. Prove It All Night – (Darkness On The Edge Of Town) Bruce Springsteen
32. Near Wild Heaven – (Out Of Time) R.E.M.
33. Summer Kisses, Winter Tears – (Until The End Of The World) Julee Cruise
34. Calling All Angels – (Until The End Of The World) Jane Siberry
35. Lust For Life – (Livin’ On The Edge Of The Night) Iggy Pop
36. The Windmills Of Your Mind – (The Singles+_ Dusty Springfield
37. The Look Of Love – (Remixed And Reimagined) Nina Simone
38. I’m Too Sexy – (Right Said Fred: Up) Right Said Fred
39. Savior Of The Sun – (And The Thieves Are Gone) Joseph Arthur
40. There She Goes, My Beautiful World – (Abattoir Blues (Disc 1)) Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds